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Life is full of things to share. My attempt at sharing my little piece of life.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

I can

I am without a doubt my own worst enemy.

My body can be in top fitness and ready to run/ride/climb/push/excel and my mind will still try to throw me off course.  It isn't big loud voices telling me I can't do this or that~it's the quiet ones.  The voices that I don't  even recognize myself.  Things like "I'm going to get a cramp"~said prior to even lacing up my shoes. "I can't run without my water". "Not sure about this run". "I thought we only had one more loop".

I've been told that I set myself up to fail even before I set out for a run/ride and that I need to be prepared for anything~both of which...piss me off!

So Tip for today~those who piss me off.....are right! In other words~my negativity, although seemingly small and harmless to me sets the tone for my run long before my feet hit the pavement and making it through the "unexpected" on a run or ride does make me stronger physically and mentally.

 Flashback to training for first half marathon: About 11 miles into a training run with my two running partners and Mary J. is blaring in my ears and I know EXACTLY how much farther I have to run~I've run these trails so many times I've memorized each hill and tree and how the pavement cracks.  We are about to make our turn left and head home and I am relieved and know I can make it.  The jack rabbit training partner that I am struggling to keep up with suddenly decides to GO STRAIGHT?! What? But I've plotted and planned and I know how much further and I know Mary J. is gonna take me home..... Headphones come out of ears and I'm curious "WHY are we going straight"...."Oh, this just makes it a full 12 miles-it's just a little extra" she says.  My brain races and I think~this could do me in, I don't know if I have enough in me to do this little extra-I'm not happy-What if I can't make it.  THANKFULLY my "I am rock" training partner knows me well and quiets my fears and assures me that I will be fine...and I was.

Recap of yesterday's run: Struggling to get back in shape and be running as I have in the past and feeling down about it all I send a text to "be prepared for anything" partner. ( The one who tells me hills are good for me-yuck- and throws me off course with unexpected longer than anticipated rides-you get the picture.) A reply text confirms that we are planning a run together to help us both get back to where we want to be.  Run time is set and we are off.  I'm out there~it's hot~I'm breathing hard~I'm hanging in there.  We head out to do a loop I've done several times-it isn't long or too tricky but I know the route.  Headed back I'm asked "want to loop around the pool?" Sure I say with confidence.  I've done that before and I'm feeling pretty good.  Half way around the loop I am asked "have you ever done this little street-it's just a little short court?".....no....and there goes my head! Brain racing again~I'm out of shape-my lunch is about to revisit-it might be too hilly-I'm not sure I can do the extra... "Be prepared for anything" partner knew this would happen that's why he added it~to push me and make me realize....I can. And I did.

I'm thankful for all the Jack Rabbits, I am Rocks, Be prepared for anything running partners I know.  I'm working on my mental game, even when I'm strong and physically capable I need to know that I can.  And the competitor in me never ever wants to be called a Pansy Ass because of my mental game.

So if you are like me and there is a whole lot more that mentally goes into a run or ride than needs to.  Here's a short list of mine (can't run without water, can't eat prior to a run, don't like evening runs, need to know the route prior, want to know exactly how many miles I am doing, and the list goes on). It is to you I say-WE CAN!


Jason Horn said...

You can dew it! I like jack rabbits

Anj Wiley said...

You are surrounded by rocks and rabbits and pansy asses are not welcome! Great post and hope we can log a few miles together!

Jason Horn said...

i wanna log some miles too, i really don't like to run it makes me feel bad but everyones gotta make sacrifices :)

Katie said...

You have a great talent in writing. I think that through your writing, you'll gain the mental strength that you need to stop being your worst enemy. Keep up the awesome writing!