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Life is full of things to share. My attempt at sharing my little piece of life.

Wednesday, January 21, 2015


I lost my sister 3 weeks ago. My sister was an addict.

Those are very painful things for me to say. 

Today I ran to clear my head, work toward healing, get frustrations out...etc.

I wasn't looking for answers, there aren't any really. I wasn't looking for peace or clarity or any other healing type moment.

Passing under a bridge on a familiar greenway path, I stopped to look at the water. When I turned to get back on the path this is what I saw.

One word.
It stung.
I do not feel hopeless, but in that moment I felt my sisters pain and the pain of so many around us. 
One word. 

When I run I choose routes based on my needs, desire, strength, determination for that day. Today I purposely chose a route with a strong downhill mile 1, completely flat mile 2 and uphill mile 3.
I wanted the challenge at the end.
I wanted to feel free, easy and accomplished at the start and struggling and working hard at the end. I didn't want it to be easy to finish-I wanted needed to see if I had what it took to finish strong.  

The run was good. I accomplished what I set out to. No great healing, no great revelations. But hopeless kept ringing in my head all day.

I don't think I will ever do anything grand to help anyone who struggles with feelings of hopelessness or despair, but as I ran further away from the word hopeless, I realized something. I realized that I will continue to run and in running I hope to encourage anyone around me who will listen to get outside, to move, to experience, to love, to be, to enjoy, to hope. One by one maybe I can help change that one word to hope.